Cheating In Relationships

It’s funny and crazy how people often find reasons and excuses for doing wrong things, especially cheating on their partners/spouses. This is quite sad and pathetic, and how they tried to sugarcoat it with various reasons to make it morally acceptable. Cheating to me is a result of greediness and selfishness. It’s not funny when I read and heard so many sad stories about how people in relationships cheat on each other, and some even boasted about it on social media without any remorse. I won’t be surprised if some of you still find it funny and you are not taking it as a result of moral decadence.
How did we get to this level of moral decadence? How did we get to the point where we don’t give a heck about whom is hurt or not about this careless and selfish attitude of ours when it comes to cheating? Married men and women are cheating on their spouses. Those who are in intimate relationships outside marriage are also not exempted from this menace of a situation we now found ourselves in.
Just like I said earlier, the two main reasons why cheating is in so many relationships are because of selfishness and greediness. I know some of you would still try for some excuses but let me tell you that you’ll still be wrong, so save your breath and listen to what I’m going to say now.
If you don’t find anything wrong with cheating, then you are a selfish person.

Imagine being in a relationship with someone you claimed to love so much and you even said you can’t live without him/her, but yet you cheated on him/her because you thought he/she is not giving you what you wanted, which to me is a sign of selfishness and greediness. If you are in the place of your spouse/partner, how will you feel when you get to know that someone who claimed to love you is cheating on you? You’ll feel so hurt, betrayed, dejected and unloved right? This is exactly what you are currently doing to your partner/spouse. You are so selfish and greedy to think straight about the grievous consequences of this selfish and careless act of yours. Because your partner cheated on you doesn’t mean you have to cheat on him/her, it only shows how immature and senseless you are. If you are not ready to stay committed in a relationship then don’t go into it to cause problems for the other person. Develop yourself and build up yourself. Strive to build a legacy for the new and upcoming generations, stay committed give your best in the relationship.
And note, if he/she is giving you some silly excuses instead of admitting to his/her fault for cheating on you, then it’s time to move on because you can’t jeopardize your standards for someone who doesn’t want to grow up.
I hope I’ve been able to pass across my mind concerning this menace of a situation.
Thanks for reading and learning. God bless you!!

Akinkuade Oluwadare Tobi 2018Β©

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Hope For The Nation

The hope of this nation lies in the hands of its youths. Kindly click here to continue click here

Garri Is Bae

He woke up in the middle of the night with a pang of hunger and his stomach started murmuring and complaining about the need of some food. As his usual habit, he trudged down the stairs to the kitchen to get his beloved bae πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰ called “Garri”, a cassava flakes, and he added milk, ice blocks and peanuts to go with it. Hmm, you must be salivating.

Garri with peanuts and some ice blocks.

He added water to make it drinkable or else he won’t find it enjoyable. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

After adding water you are now good to settle down with your Garri πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰

As I’m writing this, there is a bowl of Garri in front of me. If you’re not a Nigerian you need to take this Garri, you can add sugar and milk depending on your preference.

If you don’t know then I’ll let you know that to me “Garri Is Bae”. I’ve been in love with Garri since I was in high school and no woman can ever separate us. Even my future wife must be a Garri lover. But what if she’s not? Then I’ll make her like it. Please don’t ask me how ooo 😝😝😝😝

Seriously “Garri Is Bae” πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Ending Your Life Doesn’t Worth It

I remembered when I was so imbalance both mentally and emotionally, the thought to end my life sprang up, but I said it doesn’t worth it. I just believed I have some great things to offer this world and ending my life won’t allow me to fulfill those goals of mine.

We all have the demons we are battling in our closets but we can’t give them victory by ending our lives. We can’t allow the temporary challenges we’re facing now to determine us ending our lives. We need to make our challenges and battles stepping stones to our greatness by not giving up on life.

Be positive during your trying times, positivity is a source of strength to withstand the heat of battle in life

So ending your life doesn’t really worth it and you shouldn’t give in to that thought of ending your life at all. You’ve been given the grace to stand tall in all your challenges. You have so much to give to yourself, your family, your friends and colleagues and finally to the world. You are a blessing to this world. Do you now see ending your precious life doesn’t worth it?

You need to constantly look up to the Lord for strength and grace during your trying times

Be strong.

Be positive.

Be encouraged.

Be motivated.

Because you are so precious.

God bless you!!

Letter To My Future Daughter

A loving father giving a loving advice to his lovely daughter

My Dear Baby Girl, here are my words to you:


1.Baby girl, don’t be so stupid to think that if a guy hits you that he loves you, he’s a potential killer, so baby run away from him.

2. Baby girl, run away from any abusive relationship and don’t stay with a man that cannot control his anger.

3. Baby girl, if a man mistakenly threatens to beat you up, take that as a clue, he’s a potential beater.

4. Baby girl, don’t ever lower your standards for any man.

5. Baby girl, you need to start learning to love yourself because nobody can love you better than yourself.

6. Baby girl, don’t ever abandon your career, goals and visions because of a man, if he can’t support you he doesn’t deserve you.

7. Baby girl, you need to be very careful of the friends you move around with, if they can’t respect your standards and principles, they don’t deserve to be your friends.

8. Baby girl, I want you to be focused on your life and where you want to be in the future. Don’t ever allow anyone to influence your decision to be good and to be different from all the other girls around you.

9. Baby girl, me and your momma are going to support you and also pray for you to be great in life. We love you with all our hearts and souls.

10. Baby girl, let God be your number one before anything else. He’s the one that gave you to us and that’s why we are doing our best so that He can be proud of you.

11. Finally Baby girl, I want you to know that we will never force or pester you to get married against your will. I want you to know that marriage is not an achievement but part of life processes.

From Your Loving Future Dad

Akinkuade Oluwadare Tobi 2017Β©

Emotional Intelligence

​After so many interactions with so many people both online and offline I’ve come to realize that some folks don’t have Emotional Intelligence(EI), I mean the ability to put your emotions under control without causing damage to yourself and others.

I understand it’s your business to react in any way you like whether in a good or bad way but you’ve got to sit down and think deep whether what you’re doing is right or wrong.

I’ve met so many folks that insult/abuse people because they are not in agreement with these people’s opinions or views. So you’ve got to watch out for these people that easily get upset and start railing and ranting because you disagreed with them. And also it’s not every time you have to post, comment or reply when you are emotionally imbalance. There are so many people that are now regretting their careless actions/words because they can’t control their emotions when they read something that made them upset or someone did something that hurt them. Yeah, well I’ve been in the same spot like they were, but I had to learn to control myself and never to say or do what I will later regret saying/doing.

Proverbs 25:28 says “He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.”

Do you now see why it’s important to control your emotions?

I remembered when I posted something about ladies on Facebook, it was just like an appreciation post and someone commented that I was doing that so that I can get girls to sleep with, I was so annoyed and angry with what he said but I replied and asked him whether he knows me at all but he persisted in his accusation of me, to save myself from saying or doing what I will later regret I decided to block him off. That’s what is called Emotional Intelligence. It means you are controlling your emotions instead of letting your emotions control you.

Proverbs 16:32 says “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.”

You don’t have to comment, post or reply if you are not emotionally balanced, nobody will kill you if you don’t respond or reply to comments made on your posts, you can delete such comments and even block that person, you have the right to do so.

You just need to know that nobody can be like you, keep that in mind when interacting with people online and offline.

I really do hope this post makes sense to you. Thanks and God bless.


Akinkuade Oluwadare Tobi 2017Β©

Celebrating African Cultural Heritage

The second edition of African Drums Festival at June 12 Cultural Center, Abeokuta, Ogun State, Nigeria started on Thursday, 20 April to 22nd April 2017, to celebrate the cultural heritage of the African diaspora. It was indeed a sight to behold as various cultural groups and troupes come together to showcase the richness of the African cultures. Various dignitaries including the Obas such as the Ooni of Ife, Alake of Egbaland, Alaafin of Oyo and so on, graced the events. If you don’t have any knowledge of the African cultures, then this is an event for you!!

Ara the Drummer showcasing her drumming skills at #AfricanDrumsFestival
The Ogunde Cultural Troupe entertaining the people at #AfricanDrumsFestival
Showcasing African dancing skills
Acrobatic skills being displayed at #AfricanDrumsFestival
A female gangan-drummer at #AfricanDrumsFestival

Losing God’s PresenceΒ 

A scene in the book of 1Samuel 4 got me into thinking about how pathetic it can be to lost the presence of God in one’s life. 

The Israelites has been under the reign of the Philistines, and so they decided to rebel against the Philistines. While on the battlefield the Israelites brought the ark of God, thinking that ark will bring down the presence of God, they shouted for joy so that the Philistines heard them and they were so afraid because they’ve heard about the miracles and wonders God has done in the midst of the Israelites right from Egypt to the promised land. But they (the Philistines) encouraged themselves and they defeated the Israelites. 

So I sat down eating tonight, I began to think about what I read, I’m going to tell you what I think about. 

The previous chapters 1Samuel 3&4, the Lord has warned Eli about the sins of his sons Ophni and Phinehas, but he was nonchalant about it, he only mildly warned them about their ways. So God has already planned to replace Eli with Samuel.

The sins of a leader can affect the whole church or congregation if the leader refuses to repent from his or her sins. You can’t expect God not to execute His judgement on you when you refused to amend your ways before Him. 

I also noticed that, despite the fact that the Israelites brought the ark of God to the battlefield they were still defeated. Why? Because both the leaders and followers had sin against God without repentance. So, the presence of God refused to go with them to the battle. 

We shouldn’t expect God to be with us when we are disobedient to His Word and Will. God is never partial, His ways are always right. 

I also learned if my ways are not right before God, no matter how much I prayed and fasted, He will not hear me. Why? Because my sins has become stumbling blocks to my prayers and fasting. 

I learned also that the devil does not care about how much you can pray and fast, he won’t be moved because he knows once you’ve sinned and you didn’t repent, God is not going to answer. The Philistines were scared when they heard the shouts of the Israelites but they still encouraged themselves and defeated the Israelites. As you know “empty barrel makes the loudest noise”. So let us ensure that the presence of God is always with us by examining ourselves and settling our differences between God and man. 

May we never lack the presence of God in our lives. 

God bless you!! 
Akinkuade Oluwadare Tobi 2017Β©

Wrong Expectation From The Wrong PersonΒ 

Wrong Expectation 

That’s exactly how I felt

Just like every Arsenal fan that always get fooled that the team is going to win the league during the beginning of the football season, I was fooled when I realized that I had an affection towards this lady. The affection was so strong that I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore and I had to confess to her that I’m having deep feelings for her. But she told me she was not ready to be in any relationship because she has just been out of a relationship very recently. So I waited for her to be ready. I actually met her on a BBM social platform where we became friends around June, 2016.

So one day around August, 2016 she sent a message to me on Whatsapp and said she really appreciates my friendship with her and she would want me to move on without her. When I read the text I was really pained and disappointed, so I made sure I deleted her cell number from my phone and deleted anything that will remind me of her or will possibly link me up with her again. 

So I moved on with my life and continue my search for work to do. Around late October, 2016, I received a message from her on IMO, I was so surprised that she still remembers me even though we have not met in person before. From there on, we chatted and call each other on phone almost everyday. Not quite long, I realized that my feelings for this lady has not been totally erased from my heart, so I made sure I kept these feelings to myself for about one month in order to be sure if it was real or fake. When I told her about it, she said she only want us to be friends without any romantic feelings. But my feelings for her can’t just be waved away as if nothing happens. We called each other and I’ve been planning to see her whenever I come Lagos where she stays. I’ve already has the feelings that she’s the right woman for me, I even told some of my friends and family members about her. So, around last month, I told her I want to know her decision concerning my proposal to her and that I will respect her decision no matter what it maybe whether YES or NO. On Monday, if I can remember vividly, she sent a message to me that she doesn’t want to give me hope that she’s interested in me and doesn’t want to deceive me in any way, but she wishes that we are still going to be good friends, I was really pained and disappointed but I need to move on and respect her decision. I told her that I will still be a good friend to her and if she needs anything from me she shouldn’t hesitate to contact me. 

I learned that you don’t fight for the thing that doesn’t meant for you

Honestly, it was not easy for me to take rejection but I have to learn that no matter how much I tried to fight for her love, it would be in vain. And also got to know that God take away the good to give us the best, that I’m also going to meet a woman that will love and appreciate me as her man. All I just need is to be patient and allow God to work. 

I’m glad I have no obligation to love her like my own woman

To be honest with you, I don’t think I will love her the way I did if she comes back and tells me she’s in love with me. Why? Because I’ve already moved on without her in my life. She’s still my friend but my relationship with her can never be like before. I’ve already broken my soulties with her. So, I’m patiently waiting for the right woman without being in such a hurry to get hooked up with any lady again. I also learned that our feelings can sometimes fool us into errors, we just need to submit to God’s will and plan for us when it comes to marriage. 

I really do hope you can learn from my personal experience. I will be so glad to hear your feedback and correction. 

Thanks and God bless you!! 
Akinkuades Oluwadare Tobi 2017Β©