Garri Is Bae

He woke up in the middle of the night with a pang of hunger and his stomach started murmuring and complaining about the need of some food. As his usual habit, he trudged down the stairs to the kitchen to get his beloved bae ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰ called “Garri”, a cassava flakes, and he added milk, ice blocks and peanuts to go with it. Hmm, you must be salivating.

Garri with peanuts and some ice blocks.

He added water to make it drinkable or else he won’t find it enjoyable. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

After adding water you are now good to settle down with your Garri ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰

As I’m writing this, there is a bowl of Garri in front of me. If you’re not a Nigerian you need to take this Garri, you can add sugar and milk depending on your preference.

If you don’t know then I’ll let you know that to me “Garri Is Baeโ€. I’ve been in love with Garri since I was in high school and no woman can ever separate us. Even my future wife must be a Garri lover. But what if she’s not? Then I’ll make her like it. Please don’t ask me how ooo ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

Seriously “Garri Is Baeโ€ ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Ending Your Life Doesn’t Worth It

I remembered when I was so imbalance both mentally and emotionally, the thought to end my life sprang up, but I said it doesn’t worth it. I just believed I have some great things to offer this world and ending my life won’t allow me to fulfill those goals of mine.

We all have the demons we are battling in our closets but we can’t give them victory by ending our lives. We can’t allow the temporary challenges we’re facing now to determine us ending our lives. We need to make our challenges and battles stepping stones to our greatness by not giving up on life.

Be positive during your trying times, positivity is a source of strength to withstand the heat of battle in life

So ending your life doesn’t really worth it and you shouldn’t give in to that thought of ending your life at all. You’ve been given the grace to stand tall in all your challenges. You have so much to give to yourself, your family, your friends and colleagues and finally to the world. You are a blessing to this world. Do you now see ending your precious life doesn’t worth it?

You need to constantly look up to the Lord for strength and grace during your trying times

Be strong.

Be positive.

Be encouraged.

Be motivated.

Because you are so precious.

God bless you!!

Letter To My Future Daughter

A loving father giving a loving advice to his lovely daughter

My Dear Baby Girl, here are my words to you:

1.Baby girl, don’t be so stupid to think that if a guy hits you that he loves you, he’s a potential killer, so baby run away from him.

2. Baby girl, run away from any abusive relationship and don’t stay with a man that cannot control his anger.

3. Baby girl, if a man mistakenly threatens to beat you up, take that as a clue, he’s a potential beater.

4. Baby girl, don’t ever lower your standards for any man.

5. Baby girl, you need to start learning to love yourself because nobody can love you better than yourself.

6. Baby girl, don’t ever abandon your career, goals and visions because of a man, if he can’t support you he doesn’t deserve you.

7. Baby girl, you need to be very careful of the friends you move around with, if they can’t respect your standards and principles, they don’t deserve to be your friends.

8. Baby girl, I want you to be focused on your life and where you want to be in the future. Don’t ever allow anyone to influence your decision to be good and to be different from all the other girls around you.

9. Baby girl, me and your momma are going to support you and also pray for you to be great in life. We love you with all our hearts and souls.

10. Baby girl, let God be your number one before anything else. He’s the one that gave you to us and that’s why we are doing our best so that He can be proud of you.

11. Finally Baby girl, I want you to know that we will never force or pester you to get married against your will. I want you to know that marriage is not an achievement but part of life processes.

From Your Loving Future Dad

Akinkuade Oluwadare Tobi 2017ยฉ

Emotional Intelligence

โ€‹After so many interactions with so many people both online and offline I’ve come to realize that some folks don’t have Emotional Intelligence(EI), I mean the ability to put your emotions under control without causing damage to yourself and others.

I understand it’s your business to react in any way you like whether in a good or bad way but you’ve got to sit down and think deep whether what you’re doing is right or wrong.

I’ve met so many folks that insult/abuse people because they are not in agreement with these people’s opinions or views. So you’ve got to watch out for these people that easily get upset and start railing and ranting because you disagreed with them. And also it’s not every time you have to post, comment or reply when you are emotionally imbalance. There are so many people that are now regretting their careless actions/words because they can’t control their emotions when they read something that made them upset or someone did something that hurt them. Yeah, well I’ve been in the same spot like they were, but I had to learn to control myself and never to say or do what I will later regret saying/doing.

Proverbs 25:28 says “He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.โ€

Do you now see why it’s important to control your emotions?

I remembered when I posted something about ladies on Facebook, it was just like an appreciation post and someone commented that I was doing that so that I can get girls to sleep with, I was so annoyed and angry with what he said but I replied and asked him whether he knows me at all but he persisted in his accusation of me, to save myself from saying or doing what I will later regret I decided to block him off. That’s what is called Emotional Intelligence. It means you are controlling your emotions instead of letting your emotions control you.

Proverbs 16:32 says “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.โ€

You don’t have to comment, post or reply if you are not emotionally balanced, nobody will kill you if you don’t respond or reply to comments made on your posts, you can delete such comments and even block that person, you have the right to do so.

You just need to know that nobody can be like you, keep that in mind when interacting with people online and offline.

I really do hope this post makes sense to you. Thanks and God bless.

Akinkuade Oluwadare Tobi 2017ยฉ

Celebrating African Cultural Heritage

The second edition of African Drums Festival at June 12 Cultural Center, Abeokuta, Ogun State, Nigeria started on Thursday, 20 April to 22nd April 2017, to celebrate the cultural heritage of the African diaspora. It was indeed a sight to behold as various cultural groups and troupes come together to showcase the richness of the African cultures. Various dignitaries including the Obas such as the Ooni of Ife, Alake of Egbaland, Alaafin of Oyo and so on, graced the events. If you don’t have any knowledge of the African cultures, then this is an event for you!!

Ara the Drummer showcasing her drumming skills at #AfricanDrumsFestival
The Ogunde Cultural Troupe entertaining the people at #AfricanDrumsFestival
Showcasing African dancing skills
Acrobatic skills being displayed at #AfricanDrumsFestival
A female gangan-drummer at #AfricanDrumsFestival

Losing God’s Presenceย 

A scene in the book of 1Samuel 4 got me into thinking about how pathetic it can be to lost the presence of God in one’s life. 

The Israelites has been under the reign of the Philistines, and so they decided to rebel against the Philistines. While on the battlefield the Israelites brought the ark of God, thinking that ark will bring down the presence of God, they shouted for joy so that the Philistines heard them and they were so afraid because they’ve heard about the miracles and wonders God has done in the midst of the Israelites right from Egypt to the promised land. But they (the Philistines) encouraged themselves and they defeated the Israelites. 

So I sat down eating tonight, I began to think about what I read, I’m going to tell you what I think about. 

The previous chapters 1Samuel 3&4, the Lord has warned Eli about the sins of his sons Ophni and Phinehas, but he was nonchalant about it, he only mildly warned them about their ways. So God has already planned to replace Eli with Samuel.

The sins of a leader can affect the whole church or congregation if the leader refuses to repent from his or her sins. You can’t expect God not to execute His judgement on you when you refused to amend your ways before Him. 

I also noticed that, despite the fact that the Israelites brought the ark of God to the battlefield they were still defeated. Why? Because both the leaders and followers had sin against God without repentance. So, the presence of God refused to go with them to the battle. 

We shouldn’t expect God to be with us when we are disobedient to His Word and Will. God is never partial, His ways are always right. 

I also learned if my ways are not right before God, no matter how much I prayed and fasted, He will not hear me. Why? Because my sins has become stumbling blocks to my prayers and fasting. 

I learned also that the devil does not care about how much you can pray and fast, he won’t be moved because he knows once you’ve sinned and you didn’t repent, God is not going to answer. The Philistines were scared when they heard the shouts of the Israelites but they still encouraged themselves and defeated the Israelites. As you know “empty barrel makes the loudest noiseโ€. So let us ensure that the presence of God is always with us by examining ourselves and settling our differences between God and man. 

May we never lack the presence of God in our lives. 

God bless you!! 
Akinkuade Oluwadare Tobi 2017ยฉ

Wrong Expectation From The Wrong Personย 

Wrong Expectation 

That’s exactly how I felt

Just like every Arsenal fan that always get fooled that the team is going to win the league during the beginning of the football season, I was fooled when I realized that I had an affection towards this lady. The affection was so strong that I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore and I had to confess to her that I’m having deep feelings for her. But she told me she was not ready to be in any relationship because she has just been out of a relationship very recently. So I waited for her to be ready. I actually met her on a BBM social platform where we became friends around June, 2016.

So one day around August, 2016 she sent a message to me on Whatsapp and said she really appreciates my friendship with her and she would want me to move on without her. When I read the text I was really pained and disappointed, so I made sure I deleted her cell number from my phone and deleted anything that will remind me of her or will possibly link me up with her again. 

So I moved on with my life and continue my search for work to do. Around late October, 2016, I received a message from her on IMO, I was so surprised that she still remembers me even though we have not met in person before. From there on, we chatted and call each other on phone almost everyday. Not quite long, I realized that my feelings for this lady has not been totally erased from my heart, so I made sure I kept these feelings to myself for about one month in order to be sure if it was real or fake. When I told her about it, she said she only want us to be friends without any romantic feelings. But my feelings for her can’t just be waved away as if nothing happens. We called each other and I’ve been planning to see her whenever I come Lagos where she stays. I’ve already has the feelings that she’s the right woman for me, I even told some of my friends and family members about her. So, around last month, I told her I want to know her decision concerning my proposal to her and that I will respect her decision no matter what it maybe whether YES or NO. On Monday, if I can remember vividly, she sent a message to me that she doesn’t want to give me hope that she’s interested in me and doesn’t want to deceive me in any way, but she wishes that we are still going to be good friends, I was really pained and disappointed but I need to move on and respect her decision. I told her that I will still be a good friend to her and if she needs anything from me she shouldn’t hesitate to contact me. 

I learned that you don’t fight for the thing that doesn’t meant for you

Honestly, it was not easy for me to take rejection but I have to learn that no matter how much I tried to fight for her love, it would be in vain. And also got to know that God take away the good to give us the best, that I’m also going to meet a woman that will love and appreciate me as her man. All I just need is to be patient and allow God to work. 

I’m glad I have no obligation to love her like my own woman

To be honest with you, I don’t think I will love her the way I did if she comes back and tells me she’s in love with me. Why? Because I’ve already moved on without her in my life. She’s still my friend but my relationship with her can never be like before. I’ve already broken my soulties with her. So, I’m patiently waiting for the right woman without being in such a hurry to get hooked up with any lady again. I also learned that our feelings can sometimes fool us into errors, we just need to submit to God’s will and plan for us when it comes to marriage. 

I really do hope you can learn from my personal experience. I will be so glad to hear your feedback and correction. 

Thanks and God bless you!! 
Akinkuades Oluwadare Tobi 2017ยฉ

Housing In Nigeriaย 

The issue of housing in Nigeria is now very popular among prospective homeowners especially those that are living outside Nigeria and now considering relocating back to Nigeria after so many years in America, Canada and Europe. 

Well, I noticed that quite many of these Nigerians are now considering building their own houses in the remote parts of the country because they see such place to be safe and peaceful without unwanted traffic or industrial pollutions that can be so harmful to their health. And also to have time for themselves without distraction.

Before you relocate back to Nigeria there are various factors you need to consider before making any move.

Firstly, you need to consider the location where you want your potential home to be either in Lagos, Abuja, or any other place in Nigeria.

Secondly, you need to also consider whether you want your potential home to be in the city or outside the city. There are people that love hustling and bustling of the city while there are some people that loves to live in small towns that are very far from the city because they love their space.

Thirdly, you need to also consider if you would like people to easily have access to you or not. Funnily enough there are some folks that love to build their houses where most of their friends and family members are not living. For example, if you are the kind of person that doesn’t like people intruding his or her privacy, and most of your family and friends are living in Lagos, I’m sure you would be considering having your house in Abuja, Kaduna or Kano.

Fourthly, you also have to check whether there are basic amenities such as roads, health care services, electricity, schools, recreational centers and so on. If you are really mindful of these things then I must tell you that you either have to choose to live in  urban areas or rural areas. 

There are still many factors to considering when you are already thinking of relocating back to Nigeria. 

Be Yourself Among The Multitudeย 

Few days ago an incidence happened between a young man and a young lady on twitter, by the way I got to know about the incidence when I saw on my twitter timeline of tweets that were directed to the young man really bashing him with hurtful words.

Well, what really happened was that the young man took the young lady on a date and spent about #3,800 on the young lady and as any expectant young man, he told the gal that he was in love with her and wanted to move the relationship between them to the next level, but the gal told him that she’s not ready to be in an intimate relationship with him. The young man was so enraged that he quickly went off to twitter to insult the gal and also hoped to get sympathies from people, unfortunately for him, the gal saw his tweet and immediately sent #5,000 to him and replied him by posting the screenshot of the transaction and told him to keep the change in the transaction narration. It was an epic response from the young lady. And to be honest I have never seen such a response that carried so much maturity and intelligence. Here was a young man trying to tarnish the image of this intelligent young woman but he got what he wasn’t expecting. Anyway, this gal received so many Kudos and endorsements from big companies and banks due to the way she handled the matter. If she was like every twitter lady I’m sure she would have abuse, curse and lambaste the young man but she chose the right way of correcting the wrong. 

So yesterday, one of the companies that endorsed her posted her picture with one of them on twitter without no makeup or filter and my twitter folks began to complain that she was not even pretty to look upon. But trust this gal that has already chosen to be different instead joining the league of perverse women on twitter. Below is her response to their ridicules which was quite epic to me. 

An epic response from Ore to her admirers ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰

What is my thought about her? 

Here is a young woman that has learned to appreciate herself.

Here is a young woman that believes standing out among the multitude is the best thing for her. 

Here is a young woman who has learned to always stand up for herself instead of looking for approval and sympathy from people. 

Here is a young woman who has already defined where she is going in life. 

Here is a young woman who has learned to be independent.

Here is a young woman that never lacks the love and care of her mom and dad. 

Finally, here is a young that was raised in a home that is filled with love and unity. 

I really do wish every young woman can be like this young lady. 

My hope is that one day I’m going to raised my unborn daughters to always learn to appreciate who they are and to always stand out among the multitude in the contemporary world. So help me God. 


Are You Like Lapidoth?

I’ve shared this post on a blogsite I was using before I switched over here but I think it worth sharing for every man and woman to read in order to fulfill and enjoy the purpose of marriage between a man and a woman. You need to note that marriage is a union between two matured (physically, spiritually, emotionally, financially and mentally) adults in order to fulfill God’s plan for them.

You are to be helpers and comforters to each other
I want to talk about a man in the Bible that was mentioned once but he had my admiration and respect for him. To be sincere with you such kind of a man is quite rare nowadays, but I know we can still find them and if possible I want to be like him God’s willing.

Well, I’m talking about Lapidoth, he was the husband of Deborah the prophetess, one of the judges used by God to deliver the children of Israel from their various captivities.

Lapidoth was only found in one place in the Bible, and that is Judges 4:4. What does that implies? It simply shows me that I don’t need to be under the spotlight before I can fulfill God’s plan for my life. There is this popular saying that says “Behind every successful man there is a woman.” How about this “Behind every successful woman there is a man.”? This shows both the man and the woman needs each other, just like the saying “No man is an island.”

As a man your wife needs your help just like you need hers.
See, Lapidoth does not even crave for attention, he never tries to be a barrier to God’s purpose and calling for his wife, instead he supported her. How many men is willing to do that for their wives?

Lapidoth refused to be a stumbling block to his wife’s ministry of delivering the children of Israel from their enemies. You need to note as a man that your wife, fiancee and girlfriend as a God’s given purpose for her life. Have you taken time to know about it or you are only concern about yourself alone?

Lapidoth supported his wife and stand with her without grumbling or complaining. He did not crave for attention or recognition, instead he was there behind the scene supporting his wife’s ministry with prayers and godly advices whenever she needed them. I can actually imagine the disdains and mockery of his friends and relatives and how they would have called him so many bad names such as foolhardy, zombie, maga/mumu. They would have thought his wife was using magic/witchcraft on him. Not Surprisingly, the same still happens nowadays. But Lapidoth will never allow their hurtful words of insults and ridicules get to him, he was fully focused on the ministry of his wife, Deborah. He was a man that understands the way God works.

I know men that support their women in all things that glorify God.
Thankfully and fortunately, I have seen, known and heard of men like Lapidoth in this our contemporary time who faithfully and steadfastly support their wives’/women’s purposes in life. We need to note that our women’s/wives’ purpose in life is not limited to church or home alone but virtually everywhere. These men never see their women’s successes as obstacles nor do they see them as hindrances to their own goals in life.

You can gladly help her anywhere and everywhere.
See, I want to be an exemplary husband like Lapidoth if God’s will, even when the world calls me foolhardy or mumu (fool). If you are still thinking that your woman’s success in life will not allow her to submit to you as her husband, then you must be suffering from inferiority complex and your ego will not allow you to see how weak you are. 

Let it always be your joy and happiness that your wife, sister, daughter and girlfriend is doing so well in life. Support her, don’t let any man/woman/relatives/parents/friends dicourage you from helping her to fulfil God’s purpose and plan for her life.

Always dare to be like Lapidoth!!

God bless you as you strive to be like Lapidoth.